Key Questions: Dad, why are kids so lonely today?
1. How do I know if my kid is lonely?
This article offers seven signs of loneliness:
Recent family changes, such as a move, divorce, or a new sibling.
Withdrawal or expressing sadness.
Talking about feeling left out.
Won’t leave your side.
Doesn’t talk about social activities.
Attention seeking, including acting out or developing an imaginary friend.
Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
2. How can I help my kid cope with loneliness?
It’s difficult to see our kids struggling with loneliness. Here are four practical steps to take to help them cope:
Encourage them to express their feelings and remind them they are not alone.
We all experience loneliness at some point.
Talking through it, helped by sharing your own experiences of loneliness and reading an age-appropriate book, can help kids process their emotions of loneliness (there are two in the Resources section).
Encourage quality time with peers and extended family.
Relationships beyond the immediate family can enhance a sense of identity and belonging.
Create intentional moments (e.g., board games, picnics) for your child to connect with others.
Find purpose in the pause.
Look for meaningful ways your kid can use this period of loneliness.
For example, more intentional investment in reading, prayer, or creative outlets.
Seek professional support.
Though loneliness is an inevitable part of life, chronic loneliness can lead to more serious mental health challenges.
If signs of loneliness increase quickly, intensify drastically, or continue persistently, then consider seeing a therapist.
3. What if my kid is lonely because of their faith?
Scripture repeatedly warns us that those who do not share our faith (“the world”) will oppose us (see Dad, are Christians narrow-minded?).
Paul, for example, warns Timothy that “all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Timothy 3:12).
Christian kids may have to forego potential friendships at school or on sports teams because of their faith.
Some friendships could be more detrimental to a kid than loneliness if the peer pressure they bring leads a kid away from their faith.
Acknowledge to your kid the difficulty of giving up these opportunities for friendship.
Seek opportunities to foster friendships with kids that will encourage your child in their faith.
The church is a prime opportunity to surround your child with other kids who will provide positive peer pressure toward growth in godliness.
4. How do screens and social media contribute to kids’ loneliness?
Treating loneliness with social media connections is like treating hunger with cake.
It may seem at first like it solves the problem, but it doesn’t provide the rich nutrients necessary to resolve the need.
An overreliance on social media, like eating cake whenever you’re hungry, will eventually make you less healthy (Psychology Today below).
People need real, in-person interactions to have rich relationships.
Social media can be used to foster those, but it can’t replace them.
Similarly, screen time can, in moderation, foster relationships, e.g., watching a TV show or movie together as a family.
But, it too, can be an obstacle to them if family members and friends spend their time together looking at separate screens.
