Talking Points: Dad, are boys and girls the same?
The Cultural Challenge
A recent documentary involved simply asking various people, “What is a woman?”
Surprisingly few people could give a coherent answer.
Our culture is losing the ability to distinguish girls and boys.
Some of this is well-meaning, reflecting concerns about:
Misogyny.
Overly restrictive cultural gender stereotypes (girls can’t like STEM; boys can’t be nurses).
But, it leads to confusion for our kids and potential collapse for our culture.
The biological reality of sex is separated from the cultural expression of gender.
Both are now considered changeable and fluid.
This weakens marriages and families, the cornerstones of culture.
The Underlying Theological Issue
If we lose the ability to celebrate distinctions in sex and gender, we lose the ability to live as created beings.
We become beings who create ourselves.
Instead of receiving sex and gender as gifts from God, we attempt to define them for ourselves.
However, the Bible never says, “Follow your heart”; it says, “The heart is deceitful” (Jeremiah 17:9).
That deceit threatens to tear us apart.
Rather than live according to the divine order built into creation, we sow confusion, both internally and culturally, which leads to chaos.
God has a design and good purposes for both our sex and our gender.
The Biblical Solution
Sex and gender are so important that the first two chapters of the Bible address them explicitly.
Genesis 1–2 convey three important truths.
1. Men and women both have fundamental equality before God.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)
Both men and women are the same in being equally created in the image of God.
The creation of woman in Genesis 2 makes clear that the woman is of the same dignity as the man, made from his very flesh and bone (Genesis 2:23).
2. Men and women both have fundamental differentiation.
Genesis 1:27 also makes clear that humanity is created in two sexes, male and female.
Jesus reinforces this distinction, “He who created them from the beginning made them male and female” (Matthew 19:4).
This is part of what defines us as humans.
It also contributes to how we reflect the image of our relational God.
3. Men and women both have fundamental interdependence.
God gives humans, male and female, a mandate that they couldn’t fulfill without each other.
“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28).
Both sexes are necessary for humans to multiply.
They are also both necessary for humans to subdue the chaos of the world and bring order.
Jesus expands this mandate: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).
Gospel multiplication also requires both men and women, as Jesus demonstrates in his ministry, involving both.
Genesis 2 reinforces this interdependence.
God declares, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
Man and woman provide each other with companionship and children through marriage.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Self-sacrificial loving unity across difference is a powerful picture of the gospel to the world (Ephesians 5:21-32). (See Sample Discussion).
Application
God instructs us to embrace our sex as a gift and express it with the appropriate gender behavior in our culture. (See “What’s the difference between sex and gender?” in Key Questions)
This principle is reflected in Deuteronomy 22:5: “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God” (Doriani).
Paul likely echoes this principle in the New Testament when telling Corinthian men and women to wear (or not) the head-coverings appropriate for their gender (1 Corinthians 11:3-16).
“We ought to care about the gender distinctions our culture holds up since gender distinctions are a common grace mechanism for acknowledging the innate differences of males from females” (Walker).
We allow God to define our identity rather than defining it for ourselves.
God’s design for gender is given for our good, individually and as a culture. (See “How should we respond to people who deny the truth of gender?” in Key Questions)
But, we also allow God to define our culture rather than allowing our culture to define us or our understanding of God.
This requires careful, biblical evaluation of the cultural expectations for girls and boys. (See “What if my girl is a tomboy or my boy is not into ‘guy stuff’?” in Key Questions).
We should teach our children in our words and behavior toward them and other men and women:
That both boys and girls have the same opportunity and responsibility to reflect the image of God.
And that God has created them to reflect that image differently as boys and girls and eventually men and women.
Ultimately, our two-gendered human nature points to the mystery of the gospel (see Sample Discussion).
