Talking Points: Dad, why can't I watch anything I want?
The Cultural Challenge
Entertainment is already discipling our kids whether we like it or not.
There’s more at stake than avoiding sex, violence, and swear words.
Entertainment reinforces the dominant messages of our culture.
It is a form of secular catechism.
The primary American worldview, commonly promoted in entertainment, is expressive individualism.
This worldview declares, “Identity comes through self-expression, through discovering one’s most authentic desires and being free to be one’s authentic self” (Tim Keller).
“Let it Go,” Frozen: “No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I'm free.”
“This is Me,” The Greatest Showman: “I’m marching on to the beat I drum.”
Taylor Swift, “Out of the Woods”: “She found herself and somehow that was everything” (see Wax).
The Underlying Theological Issue
Expressive individualism teaches kids that life’s purpose is to find yourself by looking inside to find and follow your deepest desires.
Then look around to people who will affirm your self-understanding.
And if you are still missing some sense of transcendence, only then look up to some kind of spiritual experience, which you define: “My Jesus,” “my truth.”
People make themselves gods, or, at least, make God in their image rather than recognizing they are made in God’s image.
In the end, declaring “this is me” does not bring happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment.
“Following our hearts” will only lead to pain.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9)
Eve followed her heart to sin (Genesis 3:6) and, like Adam, we have all followed her example.
The Biblical Solution
We need a counter-catechism that can train our kids to identify, respond to, and, when necessary, avoid the secular catechism in most entertainment.
We must teach them the true story of the gospel and help them grasp its beauty.
God’s declaration over you as to who you are is what ultimately matters.
Start by looking up to learn how God defines us.
Then look around to the church, the community of faith where we belong, accept each other as who we are, and aspire to be more of what God has created us to be.
Then look in and ask, what is that particular gift that God has given me to contribute?
This is a “look up” rather than a “look in” approach (see Wax, Rethink Yourself)
It’s the basic structure of each of Paul’s letters: theological truth followed by personal application in the context of the fellowship of believers.
Paul summarizes this message in Romans 12:1-2: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Application
If we’re going to catechize our kids, we have to counter the expressive individualism all around them.
If we don’t, those cultural narratives will define how they look at the world, and we won’t notice it.
To win in this battle for our kids’ hearts, we need a solid defense, which protects them from dangerous content, and a strong offense, which trains our kids to discern the world’s messages and compare them with the gospel (see Cole).
Here are five principles to apply:
1. Practice seeing the messages being conveyed in the entertainment you watch.
The better you can see it, the better you can help your kids see it.
Be an active viewer, not a passive one.
2. Help your kids spot the look-in approach in pop culture.
You don’t have to avoid entertainment, but you do have to tame its power.
Watch and listen with your kids, and then talk about the messages being conveyed (don’t hesitate to pause the movie and pull out your Bible).
Train your kids to respond with biblical truth.
3. Pay attention to what our kids are taking in.
Take an interest in what they’re into and keep the lines of communication open.
4. Model saying no to entertainment that teaches unhealthy messages.
You don’t have to watch what everyone else is watching or listen to what everyone else is listening to.
Saying no conveys that there is something serious at stake.
5. Be an example of pursuing the greater joy of worshipping the true God.
Watch movies that do the same (when you can find them).
Sing songs that reinforce a God-centered view of the world.
As Augustine said, “We sing the faith into our hearts.”
As Deuteronomy 6:7 teaches, ingrain Scripture into the rhythms of your life.
If we don’t teach our kids songs and stories that magnify the God of the Bible, and train them in a narrative that glorifies him instead of us, our culture is going to give them entertainment that magnifies the god of self.
