Talking Points: Dad, is it OK to lie?

Lying

Oct 27

Truth has become individualized, with everyone having “their own truth.”
Without an absolute truth, everyone can bend their truth to their purposes.
Even so, no one likes to be lied to, which points to the absolute truth that lying is wrong.

God blesses Hebrew midwives who lie to Pharaoh (Exodus 1).
Rahab’s faith is praised (Hebrews 11:31; James 2:25) for lying to protect Israelite spies (Joshua 2).

Biblically, does the Bible contradict both itself and our ethical instinct that lying is wrong?

The 9th commandment: “You shall not bear false testimony” (Exod 20:16).
Lying forbidden across the Bible (e.g., Proverbs 12:22; Ephesians 4:25; Colossians 3:9)

Ethically, the cultural resistance to absolute truth reflects a desire for self-determination that goes back to the garden.

There, the serpent’s lies about God’s word and character (Genesis 3:4) lead the first humans to put their selfish desires over God’s instruction and then to literally hide from the Truth, God himself (Genesis 3:8).

The Bible is full of stories of people lying for selfish reasons and suffering as a result.

Peter lied about knowing Jesus three times to protect himself and was crushed by Jesus’ disappointment (Matthew 26:69–75)
Ananias and Saphira lied to the church about the money they received from selling property and were struck dead (Acts 5:1–10).

Even today, a recent study found that more than 75% of lies are for selfish reasons, such as hiding guilt, making money, or earning praise (the other 25% included politeness and humor).

The theological issue underlying our ethical question helps resolve the apparent biblical contradiction.
The lies of the midwives and Rahab are not motivated by the selfishness, the desire to “be like God,” that is at the heart of sin.

Their lies actually put their lives at risk in order to save the lives of others.
They are like Corrie Ten Boom and other Christians during World War 2, who lied to the Nazis about harboring Jews in their houses.

Jesus teaches that our yes should be yes and our no should be no (Matthew 5:37).
When we encounter biblical passages that seem to contradict this with our kids (or any other difficult interpretive issue), how should we respond?

Panic (your kids will think your faith in the Bible is fragile).
Make something up or change the subject (kids see through evasion and it will undercut their faith in Scripture more).

Humbly acknowledge your limitations (“I’m not sure”).
Model further reflection (“let’s see what we can learn about this”).
Seek to give answers shaped by Scripture (“let’s try to figure out what the Bible says about this?”).
Look at the broader context of Scripture (“how might this fit into the bigger biblical story?”).
Search for deeper underlying theological principles that the apparent contradiction points to (“what does this say about who God is and who we are?”).

For lying, specifically, there is a contrast between general principles (don’t lie) and recognized exceptions (except to save life) (Paul Carter).

This happens with many other issues in the Bible (and in modern laws and our lives.)
For example, Peter writes that Christians should submit to the government (1 Peter 2:13-15, see also Romans 13:1–7), but when the government contradicts God’s commands, he defies them to share the gospel (Acts 5:29).

If we are considering lying, we should carefully search our hearts to determine why.

The vast majority of the time, our motivations are likely selfish and sinful, so we should resist the temptation.
However, the Bible keeps open the door for exceptions, in which lying may be done out of self-sacrificial love for others.
It’s because the midwives were motivated by their fear of God that he blesses them for their actions (Exodus 1:21).

Dad, is it OK to lie?