Sample Discussion: Dad, is it OK to lie?

Exodus 1:15–21

15 Then the king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other Puah, 16 “When you serve as midwife to the Hebrew women and see them on the birthstool, if it is a son, you shall kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live.” 17 But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live. 18 So the king of Egypt called the midwives and said to them, “Why have you done this, and let the male children live?” 19 The midwives said to Pharaoh, “Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them.” 20 So God dealt well with the midwives. And the people multiplied and grew very strong. 21 And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.

Have you ever been put in a really tough spot in which you really didn’t know what to do? If you haven’t yet, you will someday. It happens to all of us. Even when we’re reading our Bibles, we can encounter things that confuse us, things that don’t seem right at first. But the way we think through difficult parts of the Bible can also help us think through difficult situations in our lives.

In the story above, it seems like God is approving of these Hebrew midwives lying. He blesses them with families for disobeying the Pharaoh’s command to kill the babies and lying to the Pharaoh about it. 

So, since the Bible says elsewhere that it’s wrong to lie, including in the ten commandments, is the Bible contradicting itself? And, is it saying that it’s OK to lie?

When we run into hard situations like this in the Bible or life, we shouldn’t panic. Stop. Pray. Then think about how this issue fits into all you’ve learned about God’s big story. Come talk to me. I would love to think it through with you.

When it comes to this story, the midwives are not lying for their own benefit. They aren’t trying to get something they shouldn’t or make themselves look good like we often are when we’re tempted to lie. It’s this desire to put ourselves first, over others and even over God, that’s at the heart of all sin. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve disobeying God in the garden so they could be their own little gods. 

But the midwives aren’t lying to put themselves first. They’re risking their lives to save the lives of others. They’re like the Christians who hid Jews in their houses and lied about it to the Nazi soldiers who were looking to capture and kill Jews. They were willing to sacrifice their own lives to love God by loving their neighbors, just as Jesus calls us to do (Matthew 22:36–40).

So, if we read this story carefully in light of the bigger biblical story, what at first seems confusing actually teaches a clear lesson. Almost every time we’re tempted to lie, if we’re honest, we’ll have to admit it’s because we want to put ourselves first rather than obeying God. In fact, because God says we shouldn’t lie, the safest thing to do is to try any way we can not to lie. But, sometimes, very very rarely, we may be put in a situation in which loving our neighbor as God commands us to may involve being willing to lie. That’s not a contradiction in the Bible; it’s just an exception to a general rule. It’s a like the general rule we have that you should never hit your sister. But if she were choking, that would be an exception, and you should give her a big whack on the back to save her life.

God gives us commands like don’t lie because he loves us. In most cases, not lying will make our lives better. But God also wants us to love others. I hope you’re never put into this situation, but some people may need to lie to save a life. God gives us stories like this one in the Bible, not to confuse us, but to help us think through difficult situations like this so we’ll be prepared to do what is right.